WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2022  –  7:15 a.m.

We have invited Bert Smith, a retired purveyor of sophisticated office equipment and ball point pens, to tell us about football –No, not what we feast on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday, Sundays and of course, Monday nights; rather, that which we are exhibiting to the downtrodden of the rest of the world, including England. Bert is also a highly acclaimed referee in the sport of Lacrosse. With a keen eye on a sport known only at one time by our Native Americans, Bert has bedazzled experienced and not so experienced athletes with his prowess. Back to Football. We will hear how Bert fared with the food peddlers, scalpers and cheerleaders that our English friends have roped in to play one of America’s great sports. 

Invocator: Mr. Eric Nelson
Introducer: James Booth Burr, Jr., Esq.

Football: Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
~ Fran Lebowitz

Football (2) On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment – halftime.
~ Unknown

Football (3) San Francisco has always been my favorite booing city. I didn’t mean the people boo louder or longer, but there is a very special intimacy. When they boo you, know they mean you. Music, that’s what it is to me. One time in Kezar Stadium they gave me a standing boo.
~ Pro football coach, George Hallas (1895-1983)